Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
