watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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