Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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