After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
