I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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