The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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