let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
