note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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