If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
