I got chris browned last night
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
