peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
