tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
