The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Of course I have a pirate flag
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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