i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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