please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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