belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
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I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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