is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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