Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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