Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
