I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
