please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
