she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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