i just google imaged poop.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
