Soap is not a condiment
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
