His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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