I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
