Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
