I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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