i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my poor anus
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
