i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
