how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
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can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
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The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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