Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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