maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She announced her abortion via fbk
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
