i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
