If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
