I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
