Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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