Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
