You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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