I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
