I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize