do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
