ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
