yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
