I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
