If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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