do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
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