im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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