All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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