I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
