hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
