Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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