ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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