Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize