After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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