Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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