she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
