I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize